Besos y lagrimas: The End of an Amazing Adventure

I’m sad to say that my study abroad adventure is coming to a close! It has been such an eye-opening experience for me in so many ways. I think that everybody that gets the chance to live in another part of the world (even if it’s only the other side of your state) should take a hold of the reins before it’s too late. I feel immensely grateful for the things I’ve learned. Although I’m sure I don’t quite realize some other changes that have happened to me, here are some of the life lessons I can recognize now:

Me with my Spanish language diploma
on the last day of the semester

Gaining Confidence

I’ve always been a little timid when it comes to meeting new people and I guess you could say that I have a talent of dissolving into crowds. Spain hasn’t necessarily changed my personality per se, but instead it has helped me realize how much a small gesture of confidence can make a difference.

When I first arrived I was terrified to ask Spaniards for simple things like directions, recommendations or small talk, but now I realize that my favorite moments of the semester have been when I stick my foot out there and do what’s out of my comfort zone to try doing those sorts of things. And you know the best thing? Most people were really nice; I didn’t have anything to worry about! (I guess except that one time that I got lost from my group in Madrid one evening—but even then I found a nice couple to escort me to the nearest Metro stop.) Who cares if I don’t quite get it right the first time? I gained people’s respect by trying my very best at embracing the Spanish culture instead of being a stick in the mud foreigner by having a closed mind.

My two teachers Teresa and Sofia
with my great friend Juliana

I’ve realized that being confident in my social skills here has helped me become a more socially confident person in general. I mean if I can make a friend while speaking a foreign language, what is there that I can’t do at home in my native tongue?

Having Empathy

My whole life I always felt like I’m a nice person and that I try to treat everyone equally, but boy was I wrong! I never realized that I was a pretty heartless person until being the fish out of water.

Two girls in my program, Steffani and Melissa,
 in Valle de los Caídos

Sundays are always my favorite days because I get to interact with mostly native Spanish speakers at church about deep topics. I remember one of my first Sundays I was trying to meet more kids my age, so in Sunday School I sat next to a pretty Spanish girl that seemed like someone I would sit next to in a Sunday School class at home. After awhile the teacher assigned us as partners to read a scripture and discuss it in front of the class. Unfortunately she didn’t turn out to be as nice as I had hoped and really turned her nose up at me when I tried to explain what I thought about the topic. Embarrassed, I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the day for fear of ruining my pride for a second time.

Taylor, Tatiana and Madeleine
 in La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

But that night a light bulb turned on in my head. “That’s exactly how I would’ve reacted had I been in her situation,” I thought to myself, “Students that don’t speak well come in and out of the ward every three months, and I bet she’s tired of putting up with dummies like me.”

Never before had I truly understood what it meant to not be able to communicate. Now in hindsight I see so many instances where I was the jerk in similar situations because I honestly couldn’t relate to the feeling of complete estrangement from one’s home, language, nation, culture and/or family. Now I really hope to have empathy for those from a different country living in my own.

Being a Friend

In recent years I’ve lived a pretty lonely lifestyle by the choices I’ve made. It’s honestly not necessarily a bad way of living, because I’ve always made myself good company. However I don’t think I ever quite realized what exactly I was missing out on when I would make selfish choices. Being on a program like this one has literally forced me to spend five times as many quality hours than I ever would before with people that I probably never would’ve had the chance to meet.

My friends and I at a YSA activity

Interacting with the fellow students in the program definitely impacted me for the better. I got to know everyone a little too well, but it really opened my eyes to see how much we could help each other out by supporting one another. By learning about each other’s problems, strengths and weaknesses we could really build each other up and balance each other out with our varying personalities. I am soooo grateful for everyone in my program!

Vicki, Andy, Emily and I
 struggling to fit on a couch

Interacting with the locals also taught me a ton. There were people of all ages and walks of life that I was able to meet. With them I was really impressed to see that they actually cared about me instead of blowing me off since I wasn’t staying for very long. I’ve really learned that being a good friend doesn’t mean that I have to see them everyday for the rest of my life. Even if it is only a short time, friendship is time well spent.

Saying Goodbye

The last thing I’ve learned about life is that there is no such thing as “goodbye” or “adios.” Saying “goodbye” indicates that you’ll never see that person or place ever again, but reality is that there can always be a next time. Think about it…

Cities don’t move! The places we love will always be waiting for us to come visit again; I mean life is ahead of us with endless possibilities in the future that we might not be completely aware of right now.

My favorite park in Alcalá de Henares

In regards to people, who knows if you’ll cross paths again? Just reflect for a moment: how many times have you run into a high school friend, college roommate, or long lost second cousin twice removed that you never expected to see ever again? If you’re like me, you’ll be surprised to count the times you’ve bumped into people like this. On a more solemn note dealing with death is the same way for me too. Although the deceased isn’t with us now, we’ll have the chance to see them on the other side.

Andy, Madeleine and I posing at La Alhambra

Therefore I’ve come up with a conclusion! “Goodbye” is no longer in my vocabulary. Instead it has been replaced with “hasta luego” or “see you later.”

¡Hasta luego, Madrid!

  

El Palacio Real in Madrid